it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
