Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
