I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
