lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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