32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hippo gnu deer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
