due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
