she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
