You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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