hotel room ftw
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
