I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
