Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
