she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
