I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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