then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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