She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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