I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
