I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize