Having a random hookup so left but love u
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This house was built for laser tag.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize