they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
