put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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