omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize