I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
