captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
