apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
