All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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