you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
