How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
