i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
