I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
