i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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