you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
