Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
