What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
