just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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