Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
