ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
