Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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