Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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