I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
