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this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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