Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
