I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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