Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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