wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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