Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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