There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
