cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
