I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
