I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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