Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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