I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
