Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she looked like the before picture.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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