How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
