i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
