guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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