Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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