He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
