The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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