508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
