Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
